


Movie Star

by StormyBear30



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shannon's life takes a drastic turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Movie Star

"Jesus…I can't believe it" Tomo exclaimed with a sigh as he fell onto Shannon's couch. "Two whole fucking weeks with nothing to for us to do" He smiled tiredly as Shannon walked past him, dumping the bags he had in his hand on a nearby table. "No touring. No bus. No couple of hours of sleep before we have to head into the next venue and most importantly…no Jared in my face twenty four hours a day demanding that you and I keep away from each other" The tired smile turned evil as Shannon once again attempted to walk by him to retrieve more of their bags, halted altogether as Tomo grabbed onto his hand and jerked him onto the couch beside him. "Just two whole weeks of you and I and all the fucking that we can squeeze into that time"

"Is that a promise of what's to come?" Shannon asked with a grin, receiving his reply not in the form of words, but in his boyfriend pouncing upon him before capturing those grinning lips in a fiery lip lock.

"It's one you can take to the bank baby" Tomo finally replied once the need for air was eminent. "But first…we sleep because I am fucking exhausted"

"Sounds like a plan to me" Shannon yawned with a stretch before pulling his tired frame from off of the couch, wrapping his arm around Tomo as the two of them made their way towards the bedroom. "The rest of that shit can wait for tomorrow" He nodded towards the rest of their stuff thrown in the corner of the room.

They had only been asleep a few hours when his cell phone rang from the night stand beside them. "Don't answer it" Tomo groaned beside him as he burrowed his head deeper into the drummer's chest.

"It's Jared" Shannon spoke as he reached over to grab the phone.

"No shit…" Tomo replied nastily rolling away from his boyfriend in full annoyance. "Who the fuck else would it be at five in the morning"

"Tomo…" Shannon called out towards his retreating figure as he stumbled into the bathroom slamming the door loudly behind him.

"Fuck…" He sighed in frustration when he phone started ringing again. "Do you know or care what fucking time it is Jay?" He roared into the phone once he had answered it.

"It's a bright and beautiful new day. Much too beautiful to be wasting it in bed" Jared sang into the phone, knowing that his cheerfulness was going to piss his brother off, which only served to make him smile as the expected outburst he received.

"Jared…you promised" Shannon roared into the phone, his patience quite near the end of his rope. "You promised me…us two weeks alone. Tomo and I need this time to be together…alone" He repeated, knowing that his words were wasted.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from him" Jared reminded angrily, his playful mood gone at Shannon's words. "You know that I don't like the idea of two of my band mates dating. It could fuck up the band Shannon…you know this from experience" He reminded his brother of the whole Solon fiasco. "When you and Solon broke up it changed everything and so we were forced to let him go. Do you remember that?"

"I can't believe that after all these years you are still blaming me for Solon" Shannon cried out, ignoring the curious looks he was receiving from his boyfriend as he returned to the bed they shared. "Solon was the one who fucked our relationship up when he cheated on me and then became a fucking crazy stalker when I broke it off with him. He was the one who changed everything between us and the band…not me you mother fucker. How dare you…"

"Ok…ok" Jared cried out, knowing that he had pushed his brother too far. "I'm sorry and I know that I promised to leave you and Tomo alone for the next two weeks…but something wonderful has come up and I need your help" Jared changed tactics, adding a pleading tone to his voice because he knew that it worked on his older brother every time.

"What?" Shannon asked, shaking his head in annoyance because he knew no matter how much he tried to deny Jared; the younger man was going to get his way in the end.

"There is an up and coming new director with the most amazing script and he wants me to read for him tomorrow"

"So what the fuck does this have to do with me?"

"I need you to be there to support me big brother. This is the one Shannon. It's the movie that I have been waiting for my entire career…the one that will prove to the world that I am not just some two bit actor with music career on the side. This is the type of story that could win me an Oscar"

"You've never cared about this shit before Jared…why now?"

"Because I'm tired of being a fucking joke Shannon. I'm a damned good actor and for once it would be nice to be able to prove it to the fucking industry and the world"

"I still don't understand what this has to do with me" Shannon responded with a yawn, as he moved the phone out of Tomo's reach when he tried to grab it from him.

"I need you there for support Shan. I just need you to be there for me. You've always been there for me in the past…always supported me in everything that I have done and now I need you more then anything" Jared replied truthfully, leaving out the part where he was scared shitless that he was going to fuck his only chance to impress the new director. "Please Shannon…I need you there this last time and then I promise to leave you and Tomo alone"

"No…" Tomo mouthed, grabbing once again for the phone, his anger spiking when Shannon once again moved it away from him. "No Shannon…no" He spoke louder leaning up against the headboard with his arms folded across his chest when his words fell on deaf ears. "You better fucking tell him no…that's all I have to say" He ground out, not caring if Shannon was listening or not.

"Ok Jared…I'll be there... Swing by and pick me up and I'll be ready. Fuck…gotta go" He cried out, tossing the phone onto the bed as he ran after his retreating boyfriend. "Tomo…" He cried out again, grabbing him on his arm as he forced him to turn around. "I'm sorry…he needed me and…" He tried to defend Jared, but was cut off by the man fuming before him.

"He always fucking needs you Shannon" Tomo bellowed, once again heading towards the front door. "He'll always fucking need you. You promised Shannon" Tomo reminded through clenched teeth. "You promised that this time you were going to put me ahead of your brother"

"Jesus Tomo…he's my brother" Shannon retorted, his own anger beginning to get the best of him at the age old fight.

"And I am your boyfriend. You asked me three weeks ago to move in with you and I was hesitant at the beginning…remember? Do you know why I was hesitant and haven't given you an answer yet?"

"Because you wanted us to live together these next two weeks to see how we got along" Shannon drummed out the line as he crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance as well.

"No…I know that the two of us would be able to live together Shannon" Tomo replied sadly, his heart breaking a little at what he was about to say. "We've been practically living together since I joined this band, either on the bus or when I was staying with you and Jared when the two of you lived together. I was hesitant because I knew that each and every time that you had to make a choice between Jared and myself…Jared would win hands down"

"That's not fair Tomo" Shannon replied. "You know that I love you but Jared is my brother and we have always been there for each other when needed. We're family"

"I know Shannon" Tomo smiled sadly, lying his hand upon Shannon's chiseled cheek. "I thought we were family as well…but I guess I was wrong. You need to decide where your loyalties lie Shannon because if you don't then you are going to be alone with your brother for the rest of your life"

"Tomo…what are you doing?" Shannon asked fearfully as he watched a tear trickle down Tomo's cheek. "Don't do this…don't end us. I love you. You've never told me that you loved me Tomo…not once in the whole time we've been together but I've told you over and over again. Doesn't that count for some thing?"

"It did…but now it means nothing" Tomo knew that he was being hateful but after many months of the same song and dance over again he knew he had to be or lose his nerve and have nothing ever change. "I made a promise to myself that I would never give my heart or my love to someone who didn't love me just as much and it's one that I intend to keep. I can't do this anymore Shannon. I'm sorry" He sobbed, turning and racing from the house as fast as his feet could carry him before he once again lost his nerve.

Jared found Shannon holed up in his kitchen several hours later, red eyed and looking as if pissed at the world. He didn't speak a word as he rehearsed his line from the script before heading out an hour later, but he suspected it had something to do with the fact that Tomo appeared to be nowhere around. "Make this quick Jared…I mean it" Shannon warned as he and Jared sat in the run down office of the up and coming director a little while later.

"Jesus Shannon…he hasn't even called me yet" Jared whined, cutting it short at the look of anger he received from his brother instead of words. "Quick it is…" He smiled nervously, averting his eyes back to his script in order to avoid the hazel orbs of death still glaring at him. "I fucking told you to stay away from Tomo" He spoke under his breath but it was loud enough for Shannon to hear.

"What?" He questioned, trying to maintain his composer, but quickly losing the battle. "Care to repeat that?"

"Mr. Leto…Mr. Franklin will see you now" They both heard a grim looking women speak.

"Thank you" Jared smiled at her, sending his brother the bird behind his back before entering the room and closing the door behind him.

"Fucker…" Shannon mumbled loud enough for the receptionist to hear, but he didn't care as he ignored her glare and continued to mumble under his breath. "Hello…" He breathed heavily into the phone a few moments later when a familiar ring played from his pocket. "Tomo…" He continued cautiously, not sure what to say after that.

"I forgot my wallet at your apartment and I need it. Can you come back to you place and let me in" Tomo lied as he played with the wallet in his hand, hoping and praying that Shannon would pass the final test of their relationship. **Please Shannon…just this once put me ahead of Jared** He thought to himself, biting his lip as he waited for the man that he loved to reply, his heart sinking when he got an expected reply.

"I'm at a meeting with Jared and some new director…I'll be there as soon as I can"

"Don't bother…" Tomo replied angrily, disconnecting the phone before throwing it across the room.

"Tomo…TOMO" Shannon screamed into the phone, his own anger spiking fully as he shoved his phone back into his pocket before turning around and storming past the stuttering receptionist. "That's it Jared…your fucking time is up" His words loud and crass echoed around the small room littered with several people that Shannon didn't know or care.

"What the fuck Shannon?" Jared cried out, jumping up off of his seat as he rushed over towards his brother. "We're not done here and you are embarrassing the fuck out of me"

"Either your done or you can fucking walk home" Was his evil retort as he pushed his brother away from him and began heading for the door.

"You…wait" He heard a man cry out but he ignored him, finding his arms pinned to his sides as a large man grabbed onto his and forced him to turn around.

"Mr. Franklin is talking to you" The man ground out, increasing the grip on his arms.

"I don't give a fuck who is talking to me" Shannon barked, his face red and full of anger. "But I will tell you this…if you don't let go of me in two seconds you and that grip of yours is going to be in for a world of hurt" With that said he jerked his hands out of the mans grasp, kicking him in the shin, before pushing him to the floor. "Jared let's go…NOW" Shannon roared as he glared at his brother and then the director before storming off.

"It's him…it's our lead actor. Go after him. I don't care what you have to do but you get him back here…NOW" The director called out to the man on the floor, repeating Shannon's word.

Jared could only stand in dumb confusion as he watched the director's body guard pick himself up off of the floor, once again going after his brother. "Wait…you want him?" Jared finally found the will to speak as he turned to face the director still standing behind his desk. "He's not even an actor…really" Jared lied, turning his attention back towards the door when his brother was literally dragged back into the room by the pissed off bodyguard. "Tell them…tell them that you are not an actor"

"I'm not an actor" Shannon repeated with spite, narrowing his eyes back onto the face of the man holding him in a death grip. "Don't fucking make me put you to the floor again buddy" He threatened, once again twisting his way out of the bodyguards grip. "You have him drag me back here one more time and you will be fucking joining him" Shannon turned his sights on the director grinning at him as he eyed him from head to foot, Shannon becoming extremely unnerved and uncomfortable when the director's eyes locked on his package. "Fuck this…" He cried out as he shot an evil glare at the director and then his brother before storming out of the room yet again. All thoughts of Jared, the director and his shitty day flew out the window as he raced down the crowded streets of L.A. hoping and praying that he could get to Tomo before he left, but knowing that more then likely he had fucked up his final chance with the Croatian. As expected Tomo wasn't there once he reached his destination and try as he might to reach him by phone, he never received a reply.

Shannon knew his day was far from over when not more then an hour later his brother came storming into his apartment ranting and raving and using more curse words then Shannon had ever heard him speak in his lifetime. "You better turn it down mother fucker…that is all I have to say" Jared finished his rant as he fell into a nearby chair winded and fighting for breath. "Not that they would offer it to you anyways. I mean…who the fuck are you in the acting industry" He continued once he found he could breath normally again, only to have his breath stolen from him again as his older brother literally hefted him from his chair, tossing him on his ass before he knew what had happened.

"Do you honestly think that I give two shits about this fucking director and this script?" Shannon asked astonished, his entire body twitching from anger and upset as he tried to curb the urge to beat Jared fucking senseless. "Do you even care that Tomo has broken up with me and I don't think that I can fix it this time no matter how hard I might try" The realization and the pain almost to much for him to bare as he fell exhausted onto the couch he had been sitting on. "Do you even care that your older brother's heart is broken Jared?" He asked so softly that he knew Jared had to strain to hear it.

"Shannon…this is for the best" Jared spoke up, forgetting the real reason he was there for a moment as he pulled himself up before walking over towards his brother. "I told you a long time ago to stay away from Tomo…but you wouldn't listen to me and now look where you are"

"Get out…" Shannon replied with no real emotion behind his words, because he was just to numb from the pain and the shock to feel anything. ""Get out Jared or I swear to god you will regret it" He spoke a bit louder when Jared just stared at him with huge blue eyes. "Because what I am now is seeing for the first time is exactly where I stand with the one person I thought I could always count on to be there for me when I needed him"

"Please…I'm always there for you" Jared defended. "But none of this would of happened if you had listened to me" He reminded once again snidely, regretting the words immediately as he watched Shannon snap right in front of him. Before he knew what was happening, once again he was in the air and this time heading for the door. He tried to break free, tried to struggle as hard as he could out of Shannon's hold, but there was no doubt who was stronger as he was tossed onto the hard concrete in front of Shannon's apartment, the door his only reply as it was slammed loudly in his face. It was another week before he would see or speak to Shannon again.

"Hello…" Shannon screamed into the phone early one morning after several attempts to ignore it and sleep.

"Mr. Leto…this is Randolph Franklin. I am so sorry to contact you this early in the morning but you have no idea the hell I have been going through trying to reach you"

"I don't know anyone named Franklin" Shannon barked into the phone, clicking the off button before throwing it onto the other side of the bed. "Fucking Christ…" He cried out loudly when the phone started ringing once again. "Look you son of a bitch…I don't know who you are but quit fucking calling me phone or…"

"I met you about a week ago in my office when your brother auditioned for my screen play" The man spoke up and quickly.

"Then you've got the wrong Leto buddy" Shannon replied rudely about to disconnect the line again, stopping short at the outburst he heard coming from across the line.

"I don't have the fucking wrong Leto…but something tells me that I am going to wish that I did"

"What the hell do you want?" Shannon asked, his curiosity peaked since he had yet to speak to his younger brother since the day he had tossed him out of his apartment.

"You"

"Pardon me"

"I would like to speak to you about playing the part of the lead character in my movie. You are exactly what I am looking for. A rugged, craggy looking man in his early forties, with a don't give a damn attitude…but with a heart of gold" He added with a smile. "I don't' know about the heart of gold, but other then that you are this character. I saw it all when you exploded like a ticking time bomb in my office the other day. What I want is for you to play this character…to be this character because YOU ARE THIS CHARACTER" He emphasized the last few words, holding his breath as he waited for the man on the other line to speak again.

"I'm not an actor" He repeated the line spoken days before, prompted by his brother. "Jared's the actor…call him"

"We…I…" He corrected, knowing that his backers and co-workers thought he was insane to bring in the no name actor, instead of his well known brother. "Want you and I will do whatever it takes to make you take this role. I am not trying to brag…but this script is fucking brilliant and with you as the lead we can bring it to the big screen and make it magnificent. Would you at least come in and meet with us. Run through a screen test…but know Mr. Leto that as far as I am concerned you are the only man for the part"

Shannon didn't know what to think or say, but found him self agreeing to a meeting with the director and writer later that day. "What the hell…" He said to himself as he got up to shower and get ready. However, as the morning progressed the more nervous he got and with neither Tomo nor Jared to speak to he was near ready to jump out of his skin the moment he entered the tiny office. "Shannon…I am so glad you made it" He heard the director cry out as he waited in the lobby. "Come in…meet the rest of the crew" He gestured towards his office as Shannon numbly followed him. "Sit…" He nodded towards a nearby chair after introductions had been made. "Now let me just get you into the frame of mind of this character" He began. "He is a lone wolf if you will. He's an undercover cop from the mean streets of New York and he's practically seen it all. He just recently lost his wife in a suspicious accident and is now trying to find her killer. He tracks the persons who have killed his wife all the way to Argentina and it is there where we will start. You have the man who is responsible for your wife's death standing before you. You know that you are probably about to die and…action" He called out, pointing at the script Shannon was holding in his hands.

"Do you have any last requests before you die Mr. Urban?" A man sitting nearby Shannon began to read from his own script, looking up at Shannon as he waited for him to speak.

Shannon's mind went completely blank, hands turned slimy and wet as he licked nervously at his over dry lips. Taking a breath he began to read from the script, his voice wavering and uneasy as he stammered and stumbled over the line he was having trouble focusing on before him.

"I told you that he was a mistake" The man who had been reading cried out as he slammed the script upon the table, sending death glares at Shannon. "You would have been better off casting his fucking brother then this loser" With that said, it was in that very moment of time that Shannon nearly lost his mind, jumping up off of the chair he had been sitting on before racing around the table and pinning the man to the wall behind him. With anger and rage he spit out the words he had struggled with earlier with perfect clarity that it took a few moments afterwards as he calmed down that he was hearing clapping in the background.

"Bravo…that's what I want. Your him…John Urban...there is no doubt in my mind or dare I say anyone else for that matter" The director grinned at the man Shannon still had pinned to the wall. "The parts yours Shannon because I honestly don't know who else but you could play him"

"I have to think about all this" Shannon replied, his mind whirling from the adrenaline and confusion pumping through his veins. "I'll have to get back to you" He went to take his leave, stopping at the call of his name.

"I understand your need to think about this Shannon…but please don't wait to long. We've already cast the other rolls and would like to get shooting started within the next week"

"I'll let you know by tomorrow" Shannon replied without looking back as he practically raced towards his car. His mind was a jumbled mess as he tossed the idea of taking the role as opposed to turning it down. He thought for a moment about what it would mean to his brother and the always tight knit, but fraying relationship that they shared. He wondered what it would be like to be a star in his own right, not just Shannon Leto, brother to actor and singer Jared Leto. He was even more confused as he pulled into his driveway, just needing the night alone to figure out what he wanted to do. "Just great…" He mumbled to himself as he walked up the walkway of his apartment, finding his brother pacing angrily before his front door. "What do you want Jared?"

"I am only going to give you one choice here Shannon" Jared started screaming the moment Shannon stopped speaking. "Turn down this role and focus on your drumming instead. Leave the acting to the real actors"

"Boy good news travels fast" Shannon mocked, ignoring Jared biting remark before digging into his pants pocket to pull out the keys to his apartment. "I guess you heard they offered me the part?" He asked already knowing the answer as he was roughly shoved inside once he had opened the door.

"You take this part Shannon and you will so regret it" Jared warned, ignoring the flashing hazel eyes of death Shannon was shooting his way.

"Oh and how is that?" Shannon asked in mocking once again, hands on hips as he waited for Jared to reply.

"I'll kick your fucking ass out of the band" Jared leered, crossing his arms over his chest in order to prove his point.

"You can't kick me out of the band. I helped create this band" He challenged.

"I am Jared fucking Leto. I am the lead singer. It's me that most of the fans come to see…not some two bit hack drummer who is only known because of his brothers famous last name"

Shannon was too stunned to say anything at first, too hurt by his brother's words to react, that lasted for only a few seconds before a rage that he didn't even know he held over took him. He lunged for an unsuspecting Jared with a deadly speed, knocking him to the ground before punches began to be thrown. Jared didn't stay dormant for long before he too got in on the carnage. The fight was long and ugly as blow after blow was brought upon the brothers who had a one time been so close. Finally when exhaustion forced the two to lean across opposite ends of the hallway did Shannon speak words full of betrayal and anger. "Just when the hell did god tap you on the shoulder and tell you that you were the only Leto in this family that could make something of himself?" Shannon ground out, still fighting for breath before continuing. "You know Jared there used to be a time when you used to think of us an equals. You had your acting and I had my photography and together we had the band. When did that change? When did you decide that you were better then me…more important then me?" Tears threatened to overtake him, but he held them back at the look of defiant anger spread across his brother's face. "You are a selfish prick Jared…you always have been but never towards me…until recently. I've always defended you. I've always stood by your side. Jesus…I lost my boyfriend because of you and now when something new and exciting come into my life you bail on me. So let's just make this easy on the both of us. I fucking quit" Shannon bit out, pulling him self up off the floor with a grimace and a grunt from the pain. "I quit the band and I quit you. Just go on and get out of here. Find someone else to put up with your shit because I am over it"

Jared watched in stunned silence as his older brother limped down the hallway, entering his bedroom before slamming the door loudly behind him. He thought about what Shannon had said, replying his words over and over in his head, deciding rather quickly that Shannon was full of shit before he too pulled himself up off of the floor and stumbled back to his car. As far as he was concerned he had no brother as the anger continued to swirl deep within his gut and yet at the same time an utter sadness began to surround him that try as he might he could not push away or understand.

Shannon waited a few minutes after his brother left before leaving again. He felt as if he was teetering dangerously close to the edge of insaneness as he drove down the busy streets of Los Angeles once again, hoping and praying that the one other person in his life that normally kept him sane would speak to him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He heard Tomo question him angrily when the front door to his apartment was swung open

"Tomo please…I need to talk to you" Shannon begged, his heart beating and breaking at the same time.

"I think we said all we needed to say the other day" Tomo snapped back, attempting to close the door in Shannon's face, but a hand pushing against the wood stopped it.

"I've quit the band…or I was kicked out. I don't know which anymore. It's a long story…but I've been offered an acting part that will take me out of the country and I am so confused about it because if I take it…it means I lose Jared and yet if I don't take it it means that I lose my manhood in a sense…but most important is that either way I may have lost you for good and I need you so much right now Tomo" Shannon spoke quickly before Tomo could say anything and try to push him away once again.

Tomo could only stand in front of Shannon dumbstruck at what he had just heard, that was until the anger that he had been harvesting towards his ex lover pushed forward once again. "You really are pathetic" He cried out in full pissed off mode. "You come here and spill this little story to me and expect me to what…forget about everything and take you back. What the fuck kind of moron do you think I am?" He questioned, not waiting for an answer as he grabbed onto the wrist of the hand still hindering the door from being closed. "You need me Shannon?" He mocked back, enjoying the look of hurt he was seeing on Shannon's face because it meant that he was hurting just as badly as he was. "What about when I needed you? What about when I asked you for once to put me above your precious fucking brother. What about what I needed? You know what…fuck this" His rampage went on. "You deserve everything you get Shannon and if this little story of yours is true then all I can say is…pay back is a bitch" And then with that said the door was slammed loudly within a stunned Shannon's face.

Shannon was too numb to do much of anything but drive back home without killing himself or someone else in the process. He forced his mind to stay alert to his surroundings, forcing any feeling of hurt or pain away at least until he was safely back in his home. His mind was still on autopilot as he let himself into his apartment, digging his cell phone out of his pocket before he changed his mind.

"Office of Mr. Franklin" He heard someone speak on the other side of the line.

"Shannon Leto for Mr. Franklin please" He spoke in monotones, closing his eyes to will back the tears of heartbreak that were threatening to overtake him.

"Shannon…so glad to hear back from you so soon" He heard the man he was searching for speak. "Tell me you have good news"

"I'll take the part" He spoke in a dead voice. "When do we leave?"

"Is two days quick enough for you?" The director smiled across the room, giving a thumbs up to the others around him.

"Perfect…just send the details to my home"

"Sure Shannon…I'll have them couriered over there first thing in the morning. Shannon…are you ok?" The director asked, concerned about his newest cast member.

"Fucking perfect" Shannon replied before ending the call. Tossing his phone onto the couch, he found himself standing in the middle of the room with no idea of what to think or feel. He found that this feeling didn't intend to last long as everything that had happened to him from the day he had went with Jared to the audition began to assault his already confused mind. He felt his legs give in beneath him as he fell to the floor, too stunned to feel much of anything. He felt as if he had lost it all and in a sense he knew that he had. His brother who had practically been his life from the time they were boys was no longer and that man that he had fallen in love with and wanted to spend the rest of his life with hated and despised him for that same man. It was at that point in time as Shannon pulled his knees to his chest that he did something he had never done before in his adult life, he fell completely apart and cried the entire contents of his heart out.

The first four weeks of filming were complete hell for Shannon. The hours were long, the country that they were filming in was hot and he was miserable. At the beginning his co-stars had tried over and over again to get him to go out with them after shooting was over for the day, finally giving up after to many refusals, deciding that he wasn't worth their time and effort. Each night was spent alone in his hotel room, downing a bottle of Jack Daniels before passing out to start all over the next day. "You know you're going to have to talk to me eventually" He heard his female lead speak beside him as they sat off to the side of the set while some changes were made one hot and dusty afternoon. "We've got a pretty hot and heavy make out scene coming up and I don't just kiss perfect strangers"

"We've talked" Shannon grunted going back to the script he had been pretending to study in his hand.

"No…we haven't" She returned, getting up out of her chair before picking it up and placing it in front of the clearly agitated man. "I've tried to talk to you…hell we all have and you never say more then a word or two. You know I was so excited when I found out that I was going to be working with a Leto…but I was totally surprised to find out it was a Shannon Leto and not a Jared Leto"

"Sorry to disappoint you" He grunted again, not even bothering to look up at here.

"I'm not…a chance to work with the Shanimal…are you kidding me" She laughed at the look of confusion Shannon shot her way as he finally looked at her fully.

"Shanimal?" He repeated, chucking despite himself since not having her that nickname in such a long time.

"Jesus…I don't know how many shows I'd been to before I finally got up the nerve to talk to you and all you could do was hit on me and ask my friend and myself if we wanted a tour of the tour bus" She laughed, noticing the red blush that flooded Shannon's face and thinking it was the cutest thing ever.

"And did we…have that tour?" He asked, his face growing redder and redder by the minute.

"My friend was more then willing…but I was shy back then so I just kindly declined while arguing with my friend to do the same. Luckily Tomo came off of the bus and you two started arguing and before we knew it you and he were gone"

Shannon racked his brain as he studied the women before him, trying to remember that particular incident. "Your friend…she was blonde, with a huge rack, mini skirt and black boots that went up to her knees" He asked, recalling the moment at the very beginning of he and Tomo's relationship when he almost lost everything for a one night stand with two groupies. "I got a fucking black eye for that" He grinned, recalling the fist fight that ensued and the monumental love making that went on afterwards.

"Black eye…why?" She asked in confusion.

"Um…Tomo had an eye on her first" He came up with a story rather quickly before focusing back onto his script.

"Yeah…I can believe that…she was quite the little tramp. I was totally horrified when she showed up at the venue like that"

"Much love for your friend?" Shannon laughed, giving up on the script altogether as he dropped it onto the floor beside his chair, deciding to give the young beauty in front of him his full attention.

"We stopped being friends shortly there after that when I caught her in bed with my boyfriend" She quipped, her eyes narrowing in anger for a moment before focusing back on the man whom finally seemed to be opening up a bit towards her. "What about you Shannon? How'd you get into movies? I thought you were strictly the Shanimal?" She laughed, it disappearing at the sad look that crossed the drummer's face.

"I have many interests…acting was just one that I hadn't really pursued until recently" He frowned as he thought of his brother and how it was that he had truly come into that particular acting gig.

"I'm surprised your brother's not here. I know you guys are so close"

Shannon was about to tell her to mind her business, but thankfully the director took that exact moment to call them back to the set. Again later that night Shannon declined an invitation to go out with the women and some of the crew, once again opting for his bottle of pain relief and long nights sleep because of it.

Nearly a week later Shannon was exhausted, out of sorts and so lonely that he felt as if it was going to cause him to go mad from the burden of it all. It had been nearly six weeks since his fight with his brother; six weeks of not seeing or even speaking to Tomo and despite it all he knew that he would give everything going on in his life at that point up in a moment to be with the ones that he loved. However, he knew he couldn't back down, knew that if he did the others would find him weak and weak was something that Shannon Leto rarely if ever did. So he pushed past it during the day, focusing solely on his acting and the tasks at hand, still ending up alone and angry each and ever night afterwards. A small part of him had to admit that he enjoyed the acting gig. It was new and exciting to play a character so unlike his own persona, giving it life and flesh and making him almost real. It was harder work then he remembered when he had been on set with Jared, some of the scenes pushing him towards total exhaustion, but he welcomed those times because it forced him to focus on anything else but the two men who haunted him almost constantly.

"I swear if this man keeps drinking like this he will have no liver left by the end of his stay" Shannon's female co-star heard two staff members talking where she sat at the bar. "It's the same thing every night. He comes back from his shoot and orders a bottle of JB and then in the morning the cleaning staff finds it empty, either on the bed or the floor where it lands after he passes out"

 

"I heard he's related to Jared Leto the actor and singer of that band 30 Seconds to Mars" The other said. "But if that's not fucked up enough…he has pictures of some guy…the guitarist I think all over his room. It's like he's in love with the man or something"

"That's fucking gross man" The first guy cried out, grabbing the bottle of Jim Beam he was to deliver to the mans room. "Now I don't even want to go anywhere near him or that fucking room of his"

Anger coursed through the women as he stalked up to the bar, startling the two young kids as she grabbed the bottle from them, slamming it loudly on the bar before speaking. "If you two want to keep your jobs you will stop speaking shit about the guests here…because trust me I can make sure that your working lives are as miserable as possible" With that said she grabbed the bottle off of the bar and stormed in the direction of Shannon's room.

"Leave it by the door" Shannon yelled when he heard the knock upon his hotel room. "I said leave it by the fucking door" He cried out even louder as he threw open the door and found his grinning co-star. "Brandy…" He yelped in shock at finding her there, watching as she pushed her way into his room, bottle in hand.

"I figured that if you wouldn't come to me…I would come to you" She smiled as she held out the bottle, her smile widening as Shannon took it. "So…how about a drink then" She ignored his look of annoyance as she went in search of some glasses. "You can give me that look all you want Shannon Leto…but I am not leaving until we are good and drunk and you open up to me" She smiled even wider, but with pure determination in her voice as he flounced into the living area of the hotel room, falling backwards onto the couch. "Now…how about that drink"

Shannon knew that he was licked and besides he didn't have any fight left in him as he followed her and sat down beside her. "Thanks…" He said shyly when she handed him a drink, staring at the floor because he didn't know what to say.

They drank in uncomfortable silence for a few long moments, Brandy's eyes scaling the room in order to help ease her nerves, her breath catching in her throat at what she saw on the nightstand. "Oh my god…it's true" She spoke up, rushing across the room before picking up the tiny framed picture from the table. "You and Tomo?" She questioned, jumping back in fear as Shannon raced up to her, grabbing the picture out of her hand.

"Mind your fucking business" He cried out, stalking towards the front door before opening. "Get out…" He demanded, walking back and taking the stunned women by the arm before leading her out into the hallway. He didn't allow her to speak a word as he slammed the door in her face, falling back against it as he slid to the floor, picture frame still in hand. "Just fucking great" He spoke to the picture. "You and I are not even together anymore and it will be spread all over the news by morning" Crawling across the room he grabbed the bottle off of the coffee table, downing half of it in a single swallow, thankful when the warmness of the drink began to wear away every fucked up emotion fighting deep within him.

He didn't speak a word to his co-star the next morning, in fact making it obvious that he was going out of his way to avoid her. He was grateful that he had been able to avoid her most of the morning, but later in the afternoon he hadn't been so lucky. "Look you stupid ass mother fucker…" She screamed at him as she strode across the lot, grabbing him by the arm before dragging him as far away from prying eyes as she could. "I know that you are worried about what I saw last night…but you don't have to be" She spoke under her breath, releasing Shannon's arm when he jerked away from her.

"I don't know what the fuck you are talking about" Shannon put on a brave front as he went to take his leave.

"The picture was pretty self explanatory. It's not everyday that you see two mature men kissing and holding each other. There was no denying that you and Tomo are more then band mates after seeing that" She called out after him, jumping back as he strode towards her with full anger in his eyes.

"So what are you going to do…spread it among the cast and crew…take it to the tabloids…What?" He cried out, trying to hold his rage in check at the frightened look staring back at him. "Besides…it doesn't matter anyways because whatever we might have had before is over now" He whispered softly, shoulders slumped as he looked up at her with sad eyes, the anger from before vanished by the power of his loss for Tomo.

"I'm sorry Shannon" She replied softly, her heart breaking at the look of loss and upset sprawled across his face. "I won't tell anyone anything…promise" She assured, feeling the need to comfort the man as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. "I'm really sorry" She whispered again when she felt fingers clutch at her back and tears wetting her shoulders. "Come on...shooting is over for the day. Let's go back to your room and maybe order some room service and just…hang out?" It was more in the form of a question, her answer received as Shannon shared a small smile with her before nodding in agreement.

"I just put Jared before Tomo time and time again before it just got to be too much and he couldn't take it anymore" Shannon finished his sad story as the two of them sat on the floor, half eaten plates of food sitting in front of them, a near empty bottle of Jack sitting between them as well. "As much as I love him and want to be angry at him for it…I know that I can't. It's my fault that he had to leave…my fault that he hates me…my fault that I am so fucking miserable that I have to force myself out of bed most days" He sniffled, grabbing the bottle from off of the coffee table before downing the rest.

"I'm sure that it's not the end" Brandy spoke up, unsure that here words could even possibly be true, but hoping to bring a small comfort to her new friend.

"Sadly…it's true. I tried to talk to him after I took this acting gig and he was still so angry" Tears prickled Shannon's eyes as he stretched out across the floor, closing them in order to keep them under control. "He hates me…more then I ever thought possible" Blackness consumed him until the following morning when he woke to a stiff neck and another hangover from hell. "Brandy…" He croaked, lifting his head as he scanned the area around him, pulling himself upright when found it void of another human being.

A friendship of sorts developed between the two of them after that, Brandy being an ear for Shannon to vent to, even giving up the drinking within days of their first binge together. The cast and the crew of course had a field day, linking the two as the newest and hottest couple. Rumors and gossip spread rather quickly, but neither truly knew how far until Shannon received an upsetting phone call from someone unexpected one night. "Hello…" He spoke into the phone, trying to control a fit of laughter at a joke someone had told after a hard day of shooting. "Hello…" He spoke again when he received no response. Looking at the caller ID his heart froze within his chest as he placed the phone back at his ear. "Tomo…" He spoke the name he had read, that same frozen heart beginning to hammer crazily within his chest.

"Well I guess that it didn't take long for you to find someone else now did it?" A drunken slur could be heard across the line. "You haven't even been gone more then a few months and already you've replaced me"

"What…Tomo…no" Shannon spoke up stepping away from the crowded table in order to have a bit of privacy. "I don't know what you are talking about. I haven't replaced you. I still love you and only you" His eyes grew painful as tears began to form at the hatred and pain he heard in his former lover's voice.

"Liar…" The man cried out. "I've seen the two of you on TV. America's hottest new couple. What a fucking joke" Tomo laughed evilly. "Does she know that you like to suck cock Shannon? Does she know that you take it up the ass and cry out for more like a little bitch? Does she know that you…"

"Tomo please…" Shannon begged, wiping at his eyes as he glanced around the club nervously to make sure no one could hear him. "I don't know what you are talking about…but Brandy and I are only friends. Please baby…you have to know that you are the only one that I love" Sad and pathetic was how he sounded, but he didn't care if it meant he could convince Tomo to take him back.

"Don't call me baby you fucking loser" Tomo bit back. "I hate you Shannon. Do you hear me…I fucking hate you so much. I hope you and your bitch will be very happy together…but it won't last long because eventually she will see what a fucking waste of time and space you are"

Shannon didn't wait to hear anymore as he dropped the phone from his hand, running out of the club but for where he did not know. He found himself twenty minutes later sitting at the bar of the hotel downing drink after drink, until the bar keep wouldn't serve him anymore. Many loud words were spoken as he stumbled out of the bar intent on finding another place to drown out his sorrows, but all he found was a pair of bright lights bearing down on him as he headed out into the dark evening and then his world went black.

"Tomo…" Shannon moaned as his eyes flittered open, closing quickly again at the bright lights that burned them. "Tomo…" He tried again, opening them a bit more in hopes of finding that man he needed more then breathe it self.

"What's a Tomo?" He heard a familiar voice question, his heart breaking at the realization of who it was and that it wasn't just a really horrible nightmare that he had been dealing with. "Shannon…are you with us man?" He heard the voice speak again as he once again opened his eyes and found the frowning face of his director staring down at him. "Ahhh…sleeping beauty has awakened from her slumber" He smiled, but Shannon could see that it was forced. "Now what the fuck were you thinking deciding to make yourself a hood ornament for that fucking car that you walked in front of? Do you know how far you are going to push us back? I should fucking fire you right now and…"

"Randolph…that's enough" He heard Brandy call out, cursing him a good one before turning her attention to him fully and giving him a piece of her mind as well. "Now what the fuck were you thinking just running out of the club like that" She began where the director left off, clutching his hand gently within her own. "You scared the shit out of me. I went looking for you and found some girl playing with your blackberry. I had to practically beat her ass in order to get it from her and then no one seemed to know where you had gone. It was only this morning when Randolph got that call from the hospital that we knew"

"Sorry…" Shannon croaked out, moaning in pain as he shifted his body forward in an attempt to sit up, falling back at the exhausting attempt. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" He asked, trying to survey the wreckage, but unable to due to a sheet and a blanket coving the lower portion of his body. He knew it was something bad by the amount of pain he was in and as much as he tried to get his fingers to move to remove the covering he found that he could not.

"Other then mental instability…a broken arm, a couple of fractured ribs and skinned legs and knees unlike I have ever seen before" Randolph replied, unable to control his anger any longer. "You could have fucking killed yourself and for what…drunken stupidity"

"I lost him for good" Shannon replied, closing his eyes as another bout of pain flared through him. "Tomo…he heard something about Brandy and I and he told me that he hated me and that I was a loser and maybe I am. Christ…" Tears bled from his closed eyes as he turned his head in shame.

"Brandy can you leave us alone for a few moments please" Randolph asked quietly, nodding towards the door. He watched as she looked from Shannon and then back to him before wearily taking her leave. "I won't kill him if that is what you are worried about" He smiled shakily, walking up behind her before closing the door.

"I don't blame you if you want to fire me. I know that I've halted production and I can pay you for any lost revenue" Shannon spoke softly, unable to put much energy behind his words as he heard Randolph walk up towards the bed. "I really am sorry" His eyes flew open in shock and surprise as he felt a pair of warm lips press against his own. He tired to speak, tried to figure out what the hell was going on, but as the man kissing him pressed his lips even harder against his own, he quickly gave up the fight and kissed him back. He didn't know why he had kissed him back, other then the fact that it felt nice, it made him feel warm and for once in a long time he didn't feel so alone"

"I always hoped that you were into men" Randolph breathed hard once he released Shannon's amazing lips. "I felt an attraction to you from the moment I laid eyes on you in the studio…but I figured you were another women loving mongrel and tried to move past it. I'm sorry that you lost your boyfriend Shannon…but Jesus I've wanted to do that for so long and…"

Shannon didn't allow him to speak another word as he beckoned him forward with a nod of his head, once again falling into the kiss that made him forget just how fucked up his life and the situation truly were. Several minutes later Brandy entered the room and found the two locked in a heated lip lock, one that confused and worried her to the very

core.

"I don't know what we are going to do" Randolph sighed as he sat in Shannon's room several days later after Shannon was released from the hospital. "Production has practically come to a halt and we are so far behind now in costs that even if we could catch up I doubt that it would matter"

"I'm sorry…" Shannon replied for what he felt was the millionth time since his accident and yet it still didn't seem to be enough. "How far back in cost are we?" He asked, not really wanting to know but asking anyway.

"At least a million" The director and producer said as he paced in front of the grimacing man. "If only I could find another backer…but I've called everyone that I know and none of them can help me. Fuck…this is just so frustrating" He cried out as he fell onto the couch beside Shannon in full frustration.

"I could try and call my brother" Shannon spoke up, picking up the hotel phone before starting to dial the familiar number of his brother, mentally reminding himself to ask Brandy for his cell phone back.

"The fuck you will" Randolph cried out, grabbing the phone and slamming it back onto the cradle. "After everything you told me I wouldn't take his money for anything. Don't worry about it. I'll come up with something"

"Can I say it again as to how…"

"Sorry you are" He finished for Shannon. "Yes…I know" He shared a small smile with the man before getting up off of the couch. "I better go. I've got a few more people that I can try and call and then…well we will just play it by ear after that" Leaning down he kissed Shannon softly upon his lips, fighting the urge to smack him senseless for his little stunt despite the fact that he was attracted to him. "I'll stop by and see you later" He called out over his shoulder as he left the room.

"Great…just fucking great" Shannon groaned, lying his head back against the cushions of the couch, eyes closed as he tried to figure out just when his life got so completely out of fucking control. Reaching over, he once again picked up the phone and called room service. "This is room 318…send up a bottle of Jack as soon as possible" He spoke quickly, not waiting for the person on the other end to respond as he hung up the phone.

She could only stare at the phone held within her hand as it rang for what felt like the hundredth time that day, two names flashing on the caller ID off and on each time. She knew that she should have just given the phone back to her co-star and let him work out his own problems, but as the phone rang for the hundredth and one time she found that she just couldn't do it. She clicked the button before she really knew what she was doing as she put the phone to her ear, took a deep breath and let the person on the other end of the line have it. By the time she was done she was breathless, angrier then she had ever felt in her lifetime and about a hair away from falling into a heaping mess of tears. "You really hurt him Jared" She sniffled into the mouth piece, a near silent sob her only reply as she continued. "You and Tomo just turned you backs on him when you should have been supporting him and now look at him. He's an emotional and physical wreck. He's so lonely and hurt that he's trying to find love in the bottle and in the arms of a man that I know he could never love. You both drove him to this and despite the fact that I think you are both total pieces of shit because Shannon is an amazing man…I have hope that all these phone calls are because you realize your mistakes and now want to fix them"

"How is he? We heard about the accident on the television and have been trying to call him every since" Jared finally found the nerve to speak after receiving a severe tongue lashing from a person who was obviously very close to his brother and yet one whose name he still did not know.

"Haven't you been listening…he's a fucking fall down wreck. He's trying to put on a brave front…but it's only a matter of time before he loses it completely. They may have to shut down production because of his injuries and he feels so guilty for it that it's just eating him up inside. He's falling apart Jared and he needs you. So get over any stupidity you have and get your ass down here or so help me god you will so live to regret it in more ways then one"

"Tomo's booking us flights as we speak" Jared spoke up, watching as a broken Tomo tried to keep it together enough to book the reservation. "What is your name?" He asked finally.

"Brandy…" She replied exhausted as she lied down on the bed, curling up into a fetal position. "Just get here Jared…fix this…make him the Shanimal once again" She went on before ending the call.

Shannon could barely understand what was going on as he cracked his eyes open and found Randolph standing before him with a smile and then a frown upon his face. "Not again Shannon" He ground out, noticing immediate the glassy eyes and horrible stench of alcohol rolling towards him. "Jesus fucking Christ in a hand basket" He grunted as he helped the still drunken man sit up, not even trying to be careful of his still painful injuries. "I come here to share some great news with you and this is how I find you. Fuck…you smell like rotting garbage. Go take a shower and clean yourself up" He demanded, grabbing onto Shannon's good hand as he hefted the heavy man upwards. "Our new backers are flying in today and they are dying to meet you"

"Why the fuck do they want to meet me?" He slurred as he allowed Randolph to lead him towards the bathroom.

"No fucking clue" He mumbled his rely as he helped Shannon as much as he could before leaving him to his own devices in the bathroom. With a heavy heart he sat outside of the balcony waiting for Shannon to finish getting ready because he knew that any chance he had with the former drummer was over the moment that the two visitors stepped onto the set. Days before hand he had spoken to Shannon's brother, cursing him a blue streak for all the pain he had caused the man he cared about, but eventually allowing him self to listen to the man in the end. He was reluctant to accept Jared's offer to fund the rest of the filming, helping where needed free of charge in hopes that it would aide in him winning his brother back. Randolph could hear the sincerity in the mans voice and as much as he wanted to deny him, for the sake of Shannon and even his film he knew that he couldn't. He also knew that it was against his better judgment, but he asked to speak to the man that Shannon had given his heart to, the man who had broken that heart in hopes of what he didn't know. His own heart broke as that same man broke down on the phone in front of a perfect stranger and declared his love for Shannon.

"Hey…" He heard Shannon speak weakly as he trudged onto the balcony, sitting down across from Randolph. "Sorry again about…"

"If you say that one more time I am going to throw you off of this fucking balcony" Randolph warned, joking and meaning it all at the same time. "Today's a good day. We have a new backer and something tells me that your life is about to get back on track my boy" He smiled, despite the fact his heart was breaking inside.

"Whatever…" Shannon mumbled as he leaned forward and laid his face onto the table top.

"Whatever indeed" Randolph grinned, ignoring the mumbling protests as he continued to take in the beauty of the man in front of him.

"Don't you have anything nicer to wear?" Brandy asked as she searched through the closet in Shannon's room, amazed at just how little the man had to choose from.

"For what and get out of my closet" Shannon huffed, grabbing her by the arm as he led her out into the living area. "I highly doubt that they will give a shit about what I am wearing" He smiled at her. "You just have no idea how fucking grateful I am that Randy was able to find someone to back us again. I have never felt so fucking guilty in my lifetime. I was even so desperate that I was going to call that fuck head brother of mine" He laughed as he hobbled towards the kitchen to get himself a water.

"Really…" Brandy smiled fakely, hoping and praying that she and Randolph were doing the right thing. "Well maybe it's time to bury the hatchet with him and maybe even start over with Tomo" She hinted, hoping for a positive response.

"Are you insane?" Shannon asked, looking at her as if she had grown two heads. "They both made their decisions to fucking dump me from their lives…why the fuck would I even consider taking them back"

"Because you love them"

"Love is a two way street and if they truly loved me as much as I once loved them they would have never done this to me"

"Shannon…" She spoke nervously, biting at her nails as she attempted to tell Shannon the truth, a knock at the door stopping her.

"Guess that they're here" Shannon smiled at his friend before hobbling over towards the door. His smile faltered the moment that he opened it and found a nervous looking Jared and Tomo standing before him, with a frowning Randolph as well. "What the fuck?" He ground out, eyes shifting back and forth between the two men who used to mean so much to him. "Randolph?" He looked at his friend questioningly.

"Meet our new backers" Randolph smiled sadly, hating the look of shock, anger and then hurt that played across Shannon's face as he looked over at him.

"You both have a lot of nerve" Shannon roared at his two supposed friends. "I can't believe that you did this shit behind my back and you two…" He directed his gaze of hate towards his brother and former lover. "I can't fucking believe that you have the nerve to even show up here"

"Shannon…please just let us explain" Jared tried to speak, jumping back as his older brother exploded before his very eyes. "Let you explain…are you fucking serious?" Shannon laughed madly as they continued to stand in the doorway of his hotel room. "Oh you don't have to explain anything. You think that you can just buy your way back into my life after what you did to me? You fucking turned your back on me when for a change it was me that someone was paying attention to and you…I won't even go into how fucking mean and spiteful you were after you turned your back on me. You know what…fuck this shit" He exploded, pushing his way past everyone in need of some time and some space alone. "I'm out of here and don't even think about following me" He stumbled down the hallway as fast as he could, ignoring the pain screaming out from his entire body.

"Shouldn't you go after him?" Randolph spoke to Jared and Tomo as they stared after the highly pissed off figure.

"Not when he's like this" They responded in unison, smiling sadly at each other before watching him turn the corner and out of their line of sight.

"He just needs to cool off for a bit and then when he's calmed down enough he will come back" Jared turned to face the director. "Come on…let's go inside and wait for him" He immediately wished that he hadn't entered Shannon's hotel room, because the moment that the door was closed he and Tomo had to once again hear the rantings and the ravings of a pissed of friend of Shannon. "I'm getting worried" Jared spoke to Tomo in a whisper nearly two hours later when Shannon hadn't returned. "He's never stayed out this long when he's been pissed off at us before"

"Maybe because you hadn't betrayed him like this before" Randolph spoke up before Jared or Tomo could speak a word, eyeing the man who still held the heart of the man he loved with nothing but spite and contempt.

"You don't know shit…" Tomo rushed out, his defenses on high by the look he was receiving.

"I may not know everything…but I know that it was me and not you who was there for him after his accident. It was me that watched his heart break when he called out your name and you were nowhere to be found" He reminded snugly, smiling evilly at the look of pain that crossed Tomo's face. "It's because of you that he ended up in that fucking hospital in the first place. You and all of your accusations about he and Brandy being a couple when you know that ninety perfect of that shit you hear on TV is just that…shit"

Tomo couldn't say a word in his defense as he hung his head in shame, tears springing to his eyes because of just how true those words were. "Shannon…" He cried out a few moments later, jumping up off of the couch and rushing over towards the man that he still loved as he entered the hotel room completely grim faced. "Shannon…I was so worried about you…we all were" He looked at the rest of the people sitting around the room before focusing back upon Shannon.

"Get out…" Was Shannon's cold and heartless reply. "Get out and don't ever try to speak to me again" Stepping back he pointed towards the door with eyes full of anger and a broken heart full to match.

"Let's go…" Randolph whispered to Brandy, taking her hand as he silently led them for the door. "They will be ok. They just need to hash things out and all will be well with our dear boy once again" He assured with a fake smile, eyeing Shannon one last time before exiting the room.

"Shannon…no…wait" Tomo cried out, trying to stop his former lover from walking away from him, only to be brutally pushed aside, his shoulder making hard contact with the wall behind him. "Shannon…please just listen to me?" He begged, tears once again glistening within his eyes.

"Listen to you…"Shannon scoffed, turning to face the man he still loved and whose tearful eyes haunted his very soul, but he forced himself to look past that and focused on the anger only. "Listen to you like you listened to me?" He mocked with a fake smile as Tomo continued to lean against the wall as if for support. "You know there would have been a time where I would have bent over backwards to get you to forgive me…to get you to care for me again but now…I don't care anymore. I've finally figured out that you are not worth my time or my love. Just go home Tomo…please" The anger was starting to diminish with each second that passed, each tear that bled from Tomo's eyes, each hitched breath that was like a stab to his heart each time.

"I still care for you Shannon" Tomo sobbed as he walked towards the door. "I fucked up and treated you like shit…but you used to be able to forgive me when I got like that. I used to think that your love for me could withstand everything…even this. What's changed?" Tomo asked, knowing that he was sounding selfish, but what was left of his pride was gone and he didn't care any longer.

"I finally got fucking smart" Shannon lashed out with his last bit of anger before turning away from the one who looked as if his entire world had been crushed. "Now please Tomo just go"

"I don't want to hear a word from you" He pointed at Jared as he walked towards the bedroom. "The only reason I am allowing you to stay is because of those two people, because I know if I tell you to leave you'll take your precious money back as well. They don't deserve to lose out on this movie because of us and our fucked up relationship…or is it possible that for once you will just heed my request by fulfilling what you promised to them, while also leaving me the fuck alone?"

"Shannon…I'm your brother and I should be here for you above all else" Jared spoke up, walking towards his brother but stopping short at the looked of exhausted hurt he found staring back at him.

"Like you were there for me before?" Shannon asked sadly, feeling as if the weight of the world was plastered to his shoulders. "You made it bluntly obvious as to what you thought about me my dear brother. So please stop with the games Jared because I'm not buying them anymore. I used to think that we were lucky because we were always so close and yet I found out that none of that closeness meant anything to you. Please Jared…I am begging you…getting on my busted and bruised hands and knees if I have to but please just leave me alone. I'm tired and broken and I can't take this anymore" He didn't wait for Jared to reply as he slowly entered the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him before limping into the bathroom. Forcing tears from his eyes he downed the prescribed pain relievers, hoping against hope that Tomo and Jared were going to listen to him for once in his lifetime and leave him alone. Lying on the bed, he curled up into as much as a ball as he could before for the second time in his entire like, he fell apart before thankfully exhaustion took him to another realm if only for a few short hours.

"So you're just going to give up on him…just like that?" Jared ranted as he paced nervously before a quiet Tomo. "You've come all this way after realizing your stupidity and you're not even going to fight for him. You're such a fucking loser Tomo…you know that?" He yelled even louder, growing dizzy from the constant pacing of the small hotel room.

"You should fucking talk Jared…" Tomo bit out with as much anger as he could, it only sounding weak and defeated because that was how he felt. "It wasn't like you tried to fight for him either. You hurt him just as badly as I did and maybe he's right…maybe we just need to leave him be. I realize that I fucked up…that I hurt the man that I always said I wouldn't hurt and as sorry as I am for what I did…I know that I can never take it back. What's the use of fighting for something that he so clearly doesn't care about anymore?" Tear once again bled down his face as he pulled his knees into his chest, not caring that Jared was there or not.

"The use is that he still fucking loves you…that he loves us even though he is denying it. We've taken so much from him and he's never asked for anything in return…now it's time to make up for that" Jared spoke with a determined air as he turned to face his friend. "I have no idea what we are going to do…but fuck me if we aren't going to do something"

Tomo couldn't help but look up at the determination in Jared voice and for the first time in a long time, he smiled.

Shannon had been grateful that next morning when he got to the set and found it void of Tomo and his brother. "Hey you…" He called out with his first real smile of the day as he grabbed Brandy from behind and gave her a quick hug.

"Hey yourself…" She smiled widely, turning around to face him. "You seem awfully happy today…not that I am complaining" She giggled, smacking him playfully on the shoulder, squealing when her sides were attacked by a menacing finger. "Stop…" She cried out though her laughter, smacking Shannon again before pushing away from him. "Wow…if I had known that those two coming back into your life would have made you this happy I would have called them a lot sooner. So…I take it that you worked everything out after we left? I can't even imagine the wild make up sex you and Tomo had last night. I mean he seemed pretty happy this morning at breakfast but I…"

"WHAT" Shannon roared, narrowing his eyes at the startled girl. "They're still here?" He asked, not waiting for a reply as he turned and stormed away.

"Shannon wait…" Brandy called out, running after him in full confusion. "I don't understand. You're so happy this morning…why else would you be if you hadn't made amends with your brother and your lover?"

"Because I thought that they were gone from my life" Shannon retorted evilly, turning around so quickly that Brandy literally ran into him, knocking him to the ground.

"Shannon…" He heard his former boyfriend call out, his face hovering above him mere seconds later. "Here let me help you up" He spoke winded as he reached down and as gently as possible lifted him up.

"Why are you still here?" Shannon asked in full anger as he turned and hobbled away as quickly as he could.

"Because I missed you…because I know that I've fucked up so royally that you may never want to speak to me again…but I'm determined to fight for you. I'll do anything you want Shannon to prove to you that you mean the world to me…do anything to have you take me back" Tomo replied as he walked behind the man, jerking back when Shannon turned to face him once again.

"There is nothing you can do that will ever warrant me taking you back. It's over Tomo…O-V-E-R" He spelt out the words, once again taking his leave, glaring evilly at Tomo before he did. He was on a mission as he continued to hobble and limp his way towards the director's trailer, determined to take care of things once and for all.

"It's not over Shannon…you hear me. It's not over" Tomo called out to him, hurt but with even more determination in his voice.

"Go the fuck home Tomo" Shannon roared as he turned to face him once again. "It's fucking over. You've already been replaced with someone who cares for me. He doesn't ask me to put everything above him or demand of me things he knows that I can't give. I'm over you Tomo and no matter what you do or what you say there is nothing that will make me change my mind. I need a new start with someone who I can be me with and that someone hasn't ever been you. Go home and find someone else to put up with your bullshit because I am done" He watched as his words sunk in, watched as Tomo's heartbreak read across his face and before he changed his mind he turned around and headed once again in the opposite direction still on a mission.

"So you've already replaced me then?" He accused Randolph as he entered the trailer and found him and Jared huddled around a small table going over what appeared to be a script. "Looks like you win after all baby brother" He yelled at Jared before turning to walk away.

"Your not being replaced you stupid mother fucker…" Jared cried out, storming away from the table as he grabbed onto Shannon's broken arm, jerking him forward before pushing him on the couch. "I'm sorry…" He spoke more softly at the outcry of pain he heard from his brother, falling down on the couch beside him, hiding his face within his hands before speaking again. "Randolph can I have a few minutes with my brother please" He asked, looking up at the man with so much concern upon his face that it broke his already broken heart even more.

"Shannon…please just listen to him" Randolph begged, standing in front of him before leaning over and placing a simple kiss upon his lips. "Just listen…" Were his last words before he left altogether.

"I have never been at such a loss for words in my entire life" Jared began slowly, running his hands through his long hair before turning his full attention back to his brother. "I've fucked us up something fierce haven't I?" He asked despite knowing the answer. "Is your arm ok?" Tears formed in his eyes as he watched Shannon cradle the bandaged arm to his chest. "I don't know how to fix this one Shannon" He decided to speak truthfully, opening his heart and soul to the one and only person who meant the entire world to him. "You and I have had some pretty horrible fights through the years, but none of them as heart breaking as this one" He waited for Shannon to speak and when he didn't he went on. "Do you remember that Christmas that we put each other in the emergency room over a fight over a girl? Jesus…I don't even remember her name…just that we both wanted to fuck her and it ended up that neither of us did" He smiled sadly at the memory. "You ended up with a broken rib and I had to have stitches on my forehead"

"Rhonda Behr" Shannon replied softly, a small smile plaguing his face as well. "Her name was Rhonda and she was my date to Granny's Christmas party and you got drunk and started flirting with her. It was only natural that I had to kick your ass"

"Right…I had forgotten about that" Jared smiled, ecstatic that Shannon was at least talking to him normally again.

"And then there was the time when we didn't speak to each other for almost a month over something that I don't even remember now" He recalled yet another memory.

"You took full credit for writing "Attack" when you knew damned well that I had written most of it the year before hand after you and I had gotten into another fight over something that I am sure you don't remember" Shannon replied angrily, slamming his good arm on the arm of the couch.

"I did…I know" He replied sadly, finally realizing just how much of an ass he had always been to his older brother and how much of himself Shannon had sacrificed for him.

"I've been absolutely horrible to you" Jared sniffled, wiping at his misting eyes. "I've done nothing but take and take when you've done nothing but give...give…give. I've been a selfish bastard to you time and time again and you put up with it over and over again, only standing up for yourself when I pushed you too far. Why? Why would you put up with so much shit from me?" He asked, the tears finally getting the best of him.

"You're my brother…it's what I was raised to do. I was there for you whenever you needed me…supported you in everything that you strived for…but even I have my limits Jared. I had never asked for your support in anything that I wanted to do because I didn't want to burden you or stop you from achieving your goals…but the one time when I needed you to be there for me…you turned on me. I won't ever forget that Jared…ever"

"I know and you have no idea how sorry I am for that" Jared sobbed, wringing his hands together almost painfully. "I want to make up for that…want to make you love me again because it kills me to know that you don't any longer"

Taking a deep breath, Shannon tried to keep his anger and upset alive but as his little brother sat beside him looking so lost and alone, he found that he couldn't as he pulled him into his arms and held onto him as if for dear life. "I never stopped loving you. I just lost my faith in you" He whispered, pulling Jared even tighter against his body when his tiny frame was wracked with sob after heartbreaking sob.

"Do you think you can ever find your faith in me again?" Jared asked moments later when he found he was able to get more control of himself

"I don't know" Shannon spoke truthfully as he pushed himself away from Jared, standing up in order to put some space between them. "I don't know what to think or what to feel anymore. I just want to be away from you for awhile and live my life and yet at the same time I still feel this pull towards you because you are my brother and it was what I was raised to do"

"I don't want you to feel obligated to me because I am your brother" He replied from the couch, his heart breaking even more at Shannon's words because he could read just how truthful they were. "What about Tomo?" He dared to ask.

"I can't even think about Tomo right now" Shannon replied, exhaustion from his confused heart weighing upon him heavily. "It's too much…it's all just too much"

"You and Randolph then?" He asked recalling the simple kiss shared between the two of them, a look of love and concern written upon Randolph's face before he left them alone.

"Not that it's any of your business…but I don't know what's going on between the two of us…but I'd like to find out Jared. I won't be able to do that with Tomo here as a constant reminder"

"We'll leave tonight" Jared stood up, walking over towards his brother before pulling him into a hug. "I'll still back the movie because it's the least I can do. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive the two of us and find faith in us once again" Pulling Shannon into his arms, he hugged the man tightly to his body, pulling back slightly a moment later as he placed a simple brotherly kiss upon Shannon's lips before he left for the door.

"Jared wait…" Shannon called out softly as he turned to face him. "Thank you" He replied, smiling genuinely at him for the first time since he had arrived.

Only able to nod, Jared took his leave. He hated the idea that Shannon no longer wanted him within his life and yet he still held hope that he would come back to him eventually. It was a small enough thought to put a smile upon his face as well, only to have it disappear moments later when he found Tomo sitting on the floor of their hotel room looking like a shell of his former self. "We have to go" He spoke gently as he sat on the floor with Tomo, pulling the guitarist into his arms.

"I know" Tomo replied through a sob. "Do you think that he'll ever love us again?"

"I don't know Tomo. I honestly don't know" He replied as together they did something that after years of friendship they had never done before, they continued to hold each other and cry over their losses.

"Are you ok?" Randolph asked carefully as he walked back into the trailer after watching Jared leave.

"I am…" Shannon smiled despite the tears rolling down his face, but he didn't care as he walked over towards Randolph and hugged him fiercely. "They're leaving…giving me the time that I need to find myself"

"Will I be included in this time of self discovery?" He questioned, knowing that he didn't have the right but having to know despite it.

"If you want to be part of my fucked up life…then I won't stop you" Shannon smiled again, pulling back to look at the man with a hint of a blush across his cheeks. "Thanks for putting up with me through everything"

"You're welcome my dear boy and just so you know…wild horses couldn't keep me away from your fucked up life" Randolph grinned back before leaning forward and capturing lips under his own that he never thought he'd feel again.

The rest of the shoot went by without many obstacles and with each day that passed Shannon and Randolph found themselves growing more and more in love with each other. They were never apart for long periods of time, even making plans to move in together when all the odds and ends of the film were finally tied up. Shannon had never felt more alive and happy then during those times with his new lover and rarely did he think about his brother and his former lover. Nearly a year later his life had only continued to improve as word of his acting ability reached the ears of some pretty well respected film makers and producers. He had been offered film after film roll and yet he had turned every one of them down because there was only one person he wanted to share his acting credits with and that was the man who shared his bed with him night after night.

Months before the premier Shannon began to notice little changes in his lover. He noticed how he would often develop headaches at the drop of a hat, one minute perfectly fine and then the next in so much pain that any little noise would send him into a tailspin. He found that that man who would ravish his body near nightly no longer held those urges anymore, always exhausted and half asleep before his head hit the pillow. Often he would find Randolph sitting at his desk with a frown upon his lips and confusion on his face as he stared off into nothingness. Several times Shannon noticed that Randolph would be talking to him about something one minute and forgetting what he had started to say the next. He couldn't recall how many times he had found his boyfriend huddled over the toilet as he expelled the contents of his stomach, or how many times he had cleaned him up afterwards when there wasn't enough time to make it to the bathroom. Shannon was beside him self with fear as he begged and pleaded for the man that he loved to see the doctor and it was weeks before he finally convinced him to go. His fear grew dramatically when mere hours after he had seen the doctor Randolph was being prepped for emergency surgery.

"It's a large tumor located in the central area of the brain" The doctor had said, shocking the two lovers as they sat before his large desk, hands clutching desperately in fear. "It would explain the headaches, the nausea and the memory loss. I'm afraid that the only option is surgery…but I must warn you that this stage of cancer is pretty advanced and there is a pretty large probability that it will no be successful"

For once Shannon felt like he was the one about to lose the contents of his stomach as he clutched even tighter to Randolph's hand before speaking. "And what will happen if he doesn't have the surgery?" He asked, closing his eyes to block out the look of pity he read across the doctor's face before a word was even spoken.

"I'm afraid that if he doesn't have the surgery that it could be one or two months before he dies…with the surgery we could see six months to a year but please be aware that this is an extremely delicate procedure and it too can be fatal" The words caused Shannon's breath to catch within his chest as the room around him began to spin wildly.

"Shannon…" He heard Randolph call out after him, but he ignored him as he rushed down the hallway of the hospital, clueless as to what was around him. "Shannon…" His lover called out to him again as he rounded a blind corner, slamming into a push cart of some sort knocking him and an unsuspecting nurse to the ground below. "Shannon…baby" He heard Randolph speak as he knelt on the floor beside him.

"No…no…" He cried out, not allowing him to speak as he covered his ears with his hand, shaking his head in disbelief. "It's not true Randy" He finally gave up, throwing his arms around his dying lover's neck, clutching at it with as much strength as he could muster. "Tell me it's not true" He sobbed, his face buried in the warm and cologne scented folds of Randolph's neck. "It can't be true"

"It's true baby" Randolph replied, holding that man that he loved close. "The tests are pretty conclusive. Seems I have a grapefruit sized tumor pressing on my brain" He chuckled sadly as he pulled Shannon back a bit as to see his tearful face. "They want to prep me for surgery within the next couple of hours…but I want to discuss these options with you before I agree to anything"

"Discuss what?" Shannon asked in disbelief. "You're going to have the surgery. Don't tell me that you're not considering having the surgery?"

"We need to talk…but not here" Randolph replied softly as he leaned forward and kissed Shannon tenderly with as much of a smile as he could muster. "The doctor said we could use his office for as long as we needed. Come on…let's go there and talk in private" Shannon couldn't do anything but nod as he allowed the mentally stronger of the two of them to help him up off of the floor. Together they walked back down the hallway towards the doctor's office and for the first time in a long time all Shannon kept thinking was how much he needed his younger brother by his side.

Shannon was completely exhausted nearly an hour later as he sat alone in Randolph's hospital room after he had been prepped and brought down to surgery. Everything was so fucking out of control and he didn't know what to do to stop it as he sat off to the side of the room more confused and lonely then he had ever felt in his lifetime. Everything was happening so fast and he was powerless to stop it. He felt as if a hundred pound weight had been embedded within his chest as he recalled the conversation he had had with his lover earlier and how much they chilled him to his very core. "I want you to promise me that if I don't make it that you will reconnect with your brother and Tomo…especially Tomo" He demanded when Shannon couldn't find the will to speak. "I need to make sure that you're not alone in your life if I don't survive this surgery and I know that Tomo was once a very important part of your life. I don't know him very well and if fact I hate the little prick…but I know that he is the one that will stand by you without fail…promise this to me Shannon. I need to hear you say it"

"Randy please don't talk like that…" Shannon sobbed, his head in his hands as he once again fought the urge to vomit. "You're going to make it. Everything is going to work out…you'll see" Even to him the words sounded fake and hollow as he looked across the room where his lover was leaning against the wall gazing at him with nothing but love and worry. .

"Baby…you don't know that" He crossed the room quickly falling to his knees before engulfing Shannon within his arms. "Please baby just promise me"

"I promise…" He whispered, giving up all hopes of keeping it together as he fell forward from the chair, the two of them sitting on the floor, their bodies tightly wound together. "I love you so much Randy. Please don't ever forget that"

"I know Shannon and I love you as well" Randolph responded quickly, refusing to let go of his lover as he held him even tighter. "You've made me so very happy these last few years. I knew you were the one for me the moment I laid eyes on you in my office all that time ago…but I never in a million years thought that you would ever feel anything for me as well"

"I never expected it either" Shannon smiled as he laid his forehead upon Randolph's. "After Tomo, I never thought I'd never find love again but you were there for me when I needed you and…well you know the rest" He smiled again, their eyes locked before sharing a loving kiss.

"Yeah I know the rest" Randolph smiled, kissing Shannon once again. It was there moments later that the doctor found the two, sharing sweet kisses and murmuring words of the utmost love and devotion.

That had been hours before hand and yet for Shannon it felt as if it had been years as he moved from the chair and stood before the large window. The day was downcast and gray, causing Shannon to chuckle at how ironic it was that the day seemed to fit the mood he was feeling as well. "Shannon…" He heard a familiar voice speak hesitantly behind him and before he had a chance to understand what his body was doing he found himself falling apart in the arms of his baby brother.

"How did you know?" He asked once he could cry no more, still holding onto his brother as if for dear life.

"A nurse called me…said that Randolph told her to tell me everything and get my ass down here pronto and so here I am" Jared smiled closing his eyes as he relished the warmth of his brother's body against his. He had missed Shannon terribly in the two years that they had been apart but it wasn't until that very moment that he realized just how much. "Jesus I've missed you Shannon" He whispered against his ear, holding him even tighter.

"I've missed you too Jay" Shannon replied truthfully as he pulled back from his brothers grip upon him. "I'm so sorry that it took this to make me realize just how much"

"It's ok…" Jared smiled again through his tears as he reached out and wiped the ones coursing down Shannon's face as well. "You needed that time and I did as well. It forced me to grow up and start taking responsibility for my actions. Just please don't ask me again to leave you Shannon because I don't think that I can without losing it altogether"

"I won't. I love you Jared and now that you're back in my life I want you there forever"

"Oh fuck…you have no idea who happy I am to hear you say that" He cried out, once again pulling Shannon into his arms as he crushed him until he couldn't breath any longer.

"How's Tomo?" Shannon asked, pulling away in order to draw air into his starved lungs.

"He's doing great" Jared replied, fighting the urge to grab his brother once again and never let him go. "I called him on my way up here. He just had to find someone to watch his daughter and then he was on his way as well"

"Tomo has a daughter?" Shannon asked, confused.

"Yep and she's a beauty. You should see her Shannon, she's amazing and captivating and you just have no idea how much I love her" Jared exclaimed, digging into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. "I have a picture or two or ten" He laughed when he pulled out a handful of pictures, handing them to Shannon. "This was taken on her first birthday. Tomo and I threw her this huge birthday party and bought her all these amazing gifts and all she wanted to do was play with the wrapping paper" He laughed again, showing Shannon another one. "This one was from a few months ago. We took her to the beach and she got her first feel of the ocean. Let me tell you how much holy hell we got when it was time to go because she didn't want to leave"

"Are you and Tomo…together?" Shannon asked carefully, afraid of the answer he was about to receive.

"Together…god no" Jared laughed, handing another picture over to the speechless man. "I've actually been seeing somebody and Tomo…well he's dated off and on but nothing serious since you" Jared wanted to take those words back the moment that he said them, but it was at that exact moment that Tomo decided to enter the room.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" Tomo announced his presence with a laugh and a small, laughing even harder when Shannon burst across the room, pulling him into his arms. "Guess anyone can" He smiled when Shannon stepped back and looked at him. "It's so good to see you man" He spoke seriously, hugging Shannon once again. "I'm so sorry to hear about Randolph. Are you ok?" He asked when Shannon released himself from their shared hug.

"I've been better…but now that you are here I feel as if I can deal with this better. Thank you so much for being here. Even after everything that has happened you still gave up everything for me. You have no idea how much that means to me" Shannon sniffled, tears coursing down his face again as he looked from Tomo to Jared and then back again.

"We're family and we always will be…no matter what" Tomo smiled, meaning every word that he spoke as he hugged Shannon one final time before joining Jared who was sitting on the bed. "So I see you've seen my daughter?" He smiled up at Shannon as he watched Jared stuffing the pictures back into his wallet.

"She's beautiful Tomo" Shannon replied as he went and sat on the chair next to the bed. "You a father…wow" He smiled up at his former lover, noticing for the first time just how much he had changed in the two years that he hadn't seen him. "You look just amazing" He spoke before thinking, a blush forming across his cheeks.

"You can thank her for that" He smiled down at his own open wallet, a picture of him and his smiling daughter staring back at him before handing it to Shannon. "She's changed my life in ways that I never thought possible. She forced me to grow up and I've never been happier about it. She was the result of a one night stand that went horribly right" He grinned even wider as Shannon handed the picture back. "Her mother couldn't take care of her and after a DNA test to prove I was the true father I took over full custody and became a full time daddy"

"Be right back. Matt just texted me and wants me to call him" Jared spoke up, patting Shannon on the knee before exiting the room.

"Matt?" Shannon repeated a name he was sure he brother would never utter again after a ten year friendship ended after a furious fight one night before a show. Shannon remembered the night quite vividly, trying like hell to keep in touch with his friend after he left the band, but failing miserably as he knew he would.

"After we left you, Jared called him up and begged for his forgiveness. It was rocky at the start but they are the best of friends again" Tomo filled Shannon in.

"What's he up to these days?" He questioned, thanking a higher power above for bringing Jared and Tomo back into his life because he needed the distraction and it was nice to be part of their circle of love again.

"Divorced Libby about a year ago…but he's now in another relationship and he's never been happier. He's been touring with his band pretty much non-stop since then and it doesn't seem as if he's going to slow down anytime soon. He's still based in L.A. but sadly I don't get to see him much anymore. Your brother sees him more then I do and fills me in whenever he's back in town"

"I don't understand…how does Jared see him more if he's traveling so much"

"Because it's what you do when the man that you love is gone so much of the fucking time" Jared spoke up from behind them, a smile upon his face. "Matt sends his well wishes. He's in Mexico right now with his band or he would be here"

"You and Matt are back together again?" Shannon was stunned as Jared nodded yes in reply, a thousand watt smile gracing his face before taking his place on the bed again. "Jesus I've missed so much"

"And now your back and we won't ever let you go again. Right?" Tomo directed his question to Jared with a conspiring grin, who in turn looked to Shannon with that same grin.

"Damned right" He responded with a wink as he and Tomo crushed the former drummer into two huge bear hugs.

Five hours later Shannon's nerves were on edge as he paced the small room for what felt like the millionth time. "How much longer can this possible take" He spoke to no one in particular, a feeling of dread and doom converging on him as he continued to move back and forth. "Something bad is happening. I can feel it" He stopped his pacing as he turned to face the two other occupants of the room. "Something's wrong with Randy" Tears bled from his eyes in torrents as his body began to shake and shiver completely on its own. He felt fevered during one moment, his body becoming sweaty and hot and then mere moments later he found himself almost frozen with cold. "H...hold me" He stammered to his brother as he watched Jared race across the room and pull him tightly within his arms. The effects only last for a moment before Shannon was left with a sense of emptiness unlike he had ever experienced before. "He's gone…" He whispered against Jared's ear before everything around him went dark. When he woke up he found two grim faces staring down on him as he laid atop the bed.

"Are you ok?" Jared asked, holding tightly to one of Shannon's hands, while Tomo clung to the other. He couldn't say anything as he locked eyes with the other person in the room, already knowing what the man was going to say before he spoke a word.

"He's gone?" He asked, his voice steady and true as he continued to look at the doctor.

"I'm sorry Mr. Leto" The doctor began. "We tried everything to save him…but he went into cardiac arrest and we were unable to revive him"

"It's kind of ironic isn't it?" He giggled as he looked from Jared to Tomo. "He went in for brain surgery and died of a heart attack" Laughter bubbled from somewhere deep within him, loud and piercing as it echoed loudly around them. He laughed until his sides hurt, so much so that he had to let go of the set of hands holding his in order to clutch them. He ignored the looks of confusion that crossed both his brother and his friends face as the laughter continued to pour from within him, quickly turning into sobs of out right pain and sorrow. "He's gone…" He cried out his heart utterly shattered in two as he continued to cry his very soul out. "He's gone Jared…gone" He repeated the words, unable to fathom them as true but knowing they were just the same. "Oh my god…he's gone" Warmth surrounded him on either side as he fought to keep himself lucid, fought to not completely give up and fall into complete and utter insanity. Everything after that was a complete blur, he remembering nothing of it the next morning when he woke up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room.

"Who are you?" He heard a voice speak, but he tried to ignore it as he closed his eyes and willed sleep to take him again. "Hey…what are you doing in my bed?" Pulling himself upwards he found the person the voice belong to standing before him, dark eyes looking at him with a pout set upon her cute face. "Are you sick?" More questions as she turned and walked to the end of the room, picking something up from the floor before walking back and climbing in next to him. "You want me to make you better?" She went on, opening a plastic doctor's kit, placing the contents on the blanket separating them.

Shannon couldn't say or do anything but nod, a small smile covering his face at who he assumed to be Tomo's daughter began to jabber on about something that he couldn't quite understand, setting to work in her pretend healing with her toy medical supplies. "Renee Shannon…I thought I told you to leave Uncle Shannon alone" He heard Tomo speak in hushed tones as he entered the room.

"Sorry Shannon…she's quick this one. I turn my back for two seconds and she's gone. Do you want some breakfast…or maybe you want to sleep in some before…" He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence at the look of heartbreak that crossed Shannon's face.

"Her middle name is Shannon?" Shannon asked, forgetting his heartbreak for a moment as he looked up at Tomo.

"Yeah…pretty silly huh?" He laughed uneasily as he strode over and picked up his wayward daughter. "I was still missing you so much when she came into my life it was all I could think to call her. Her mother had already named her Renee…I just added the rest" He blushed, sitting on the bed next to the man that he still held deep feelings for.

"Thank you…" Shannon smiled, tears trickling down his cheeks as he reached out and took Tomo's free hand into his own.

"Why is he crying daddy?" Renee asked her father, brow creased as she watched the stranger cry in front of her and her daddy.

"He lost someone very special in his life yesterday and he is sad" Tomo spoke to his daughter, hugging her fiercely only letting her go when she began to squirm. Placing her on the floor they watched as she once again ran across the room, rustling through her toy box before coming back.

"Here…" She held out a ratty looking stuffed Rabbit that looked like it had seen better days. "Uncle Jared gave this to me. Mr. Bun bun always make me feel better when I am sad"

"Thank you" Shannon croaked as he took the toy, his tears flowing even more when Tomo's little girl climbed into his lap hugging the large hand surrounding the toy to her chest before singing softly a song that sounded so familiar and yet he couldn't place it.

"It's what Jared does for her when she's sad or upset. He said that it was a song that your grandmother used to sing to the two of you when you were young. I don't know what it is about it…but it calms her down in no time flat" Tomo explained, his own tears flowing as well as he squeezed Shannon's hand in a show of love and support.

Despite his terrible tragedy from the day before and the heartbreak of what was about to come, Shannon couldn't help but feel a calmness wash over him as the little tyke continued to sing, he singing the words along with her in his head as he recalled years gone by. Eye's locked with Tomo's; he gave a squeeze of gratitude in return once again thanking a higher power and Randolph for bringing his family back into his life.

The movie premiere had been put on hold, and nearly eight months after the funeral people were biting at the bit to have it released. "I don't know what to do" Shannon sighed as he, Jared and Tomo sat around Tomo's dining room table drinking one night. "The studio heads are bugging me night and day to give the say so to release it…but I just don't know. What do you think I should do?" He looked from one then the other waiting for a response.

"Shannon…I know that losing Randolph was hard on you and that this in a sense is like opening that part of your life up again…but I have to tell you bro speaking as one of the backers…I'd like to see it open. The film is amazing and powerful and it shouldn't be wasted just sitting on a self collecting dust"

"I agree Shan…" Tomo replied softly, reaching out and taking his friends hand into his own. "It's a work of art and a tribute to how much of a wonderful director and producer he really was. You could release it in honor of his memory"

"I have to think about it some more" Was Shannon's response as he pushed himself away from the table. "I'm going home. I talk to you both tomorrow" He didn't wait for either to speak as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and headed out the front door.

"I'm really worried about him" Jared said as he stared at the closed door. "It's been nearly a year and he still won't release the film and other then coming over here he never does much of anything"

"He's ok Jared" Tomo assured, patting Jared's hand before getting up and walking into the kitchen. "You want another beer?" He called out, grabbing two before walking back to the table. "He's set for life thanks to Randolph and he loves spending time with Renee. I think that she's the only reason that he comes over here" He smiled sadly, drawing a large swallow from his beer before placing it back on the table before him.

"You've fallen in love with him all over again?" Jared surmised by the look of misery on Tomo's face.

Tomo hesitated for a moment before speaking knowing that he couldn't hide anything from Jared. "I never stopped" He replied simply.

"Yeah…I know how that goes. Even after everything that Matt and I went though…the fighting and the hatred…I never stopped loving him. Hey…it worked out for him and I…what's to say that it can't work out for you and Shannon as well"

"I honestly don't think that Shannon will ever look at me that same way again. To him I will always be that man who claimed to love him and then turned his back on him when he needed me most. I know he loves me as his friend…but I don't hold any hope that he will ever be in love with me the way that he once was"

"You're not that same person anymore Tomo. You've changed thanks to that little cutie sleeping upstairs. You've been there for Shannon ever since he let us back into his life…that has to account for something"

"As much as I wish that were true…I don't think so. He found something in Randolph that I could never give him. Just from hearing him talk…it's obvious that their love was different…more mature…deeper"

"When Shannon and you were together you were both so young and it was so new and…"

"Thanks for trying Jared…but I've given up all hope when it comes to Shannon and me. Now I'm just his friend and if that's all he is willing to give me then that is what I will take gladly. I'm going to go to bed now…you can hang out if you want…just lock up when you leave. Night Jay…"

"Night Tomo…" Jared responded with a frown as he watched his former guitarist leave the room.

Later that night as Tomo laid in bed tossing and turning, memories of days gone by started to haunt him. Throughout the night he replayed the entire course of their relationship through his mind, tears of frustration, loss and regret finally forcing him to sleep in the early morning hours.

It was actually several days before either Jared or Tomo heard from Shannon again. "I've ok'd the release of the movie" He shocked them both with his announcement.

"Shannon are you sure?" Jared asked, concerned for his brother and yet relived at the same time, because though he would never tell Shannon, backing the movie for his bother had been costly. .

"I'm sure" Shannon smiled. "I've been thinking about it for the last few days and I think you're absolutely right…it's a brilliant film and Randolph's talents shouldn't be wasted. Plus it's also not fair to you and everyone else who has backed and supported this film through its entirety"

"Don't do this for me" Jared exclaimed.

"I'm not…" Shannon laughed at the look Jared gave him, giving him a quick hug before continuing. "I'm doing this for Randy and I'm doing this for me. I was forced to deal with a lot of changes because of this film…some good and some bad…but it's made me into who I am now. It's time for this transformation to come full circle"

"So when's the premier?" Jared whooped, smiling brightly.

"Two weeks quick enough for you" The former drummer replied with his own smile, that smile hiding his fear and concern from his younger brother.

"You're not fooling anyone Shannon" Tomo spoke up hours later as they sat on a park bench watching Renee play. "I know the real reason why you released the film. I know that you did it for Jared because of all the money he put into finishing it"

Shannon looked at Tomo long and hard before speaking, his heart tugging as a smile spread across his face. "You always knew how to read me like a book" His smile widened when Tomo reached across and took his hand into his. "I really did mean it when I said that it wasn't fair to those who had supported it all along. He won't tell me how much…but I know it was a hefty sum. I have no clue how this film is going to do but I'd like to see him and everyone else who backed it get at least some of their money back"

"Are you sure you can deal with this premier and everything that goes along with it?" Concern crossed Tomo's face and for the first time in a long time Shannon felt something other the friendship for his friend and former lover.

"As long as you are with me I know I can handle anything" He spoke truthfully, the statement alone almost too much for him to deal with as he gave Tomo another smile before running after Tomo's daughter.

"You can do this" Tomo spoke calmly to Shannon, hands clutched together two weeks later as they sat in the limo waiting to be dropped off on the red carpet. "Deep breaths…in and out" He coached, not feeling so calm himself, his concern and worry for Shannon growing the closer they drew to the drop off point. He wished like hell that Jared had been there to help ease his brother's fears but with Matt flying in from overseas for the premier, he knew there was no where else he'd rather be then with his lover, even for his brother.

"I don't know if I can do this Tomo" Shannon rushed out, his face pale and dripping with sweat. "What if this movie flops…what if people think that it's a joke…that I am a joke" His words continued as the panic continued to grow inside him.

"Shannon…listen to me" Tomo demanded, grabbing onto his chin as he forced him to turn and look at him. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the always present handkerchief since he'd become a father and dabbed at Shannon's perspiring face. "You can do this…" He announced the words clearly and firmly. "I'm going to be here every step of the way. I am here to support you in any way that I can…you hear that. This film is amazing and Randolph knew with just one look that you were the reason for that. You are amazing Shannon and after this all of fucking Hollywood is going to know this as well. Now…whenever you feel like you are getting overwhelmed you take my hand and you hold on for dear life. Remember…you are amazing" Truer words had never passed across his lips, but he didn't have time to harp on them as the door to the limo was opened. "Ready?" He asked, sitting back to allow Shannon to exit the limo whenever he was ready.

"Ready…" He replied, not sounding so sure but taking a cleansing breath just the same before pushing himself off of the leather seat.

"Shannon…look this way"

"Mr. Leto…over here"

"Can we get a word with you?"

The screams were loud and all blurred together as flash upon flash blinded him. Once again the panic within him started to rise as he fought the urge to flee back into the limo and hide from the rest of the world forever. "I'm right here" He heard Tomo whisper against his ear, drawing strength from the taller man body heat from where he stood behind him. Not caring about the photographers, the cameramen or the rag magazines that would post ridicules shit about what he was about to do, he grabbed onto Tomo's hand for support, nearly sighing in relief as together they walked down the red carpet. It was nearly an hour before they reached the sanctuary of the cinema as he spoke to one interviewer after another. He ignored the stupid and ridicules questions thrown out to him about Tomo and what he meant to him, instead focusing on speaking about the movie and that amazing man who had brought it all together. "You ok?" Tomo asked, rubbing his aching hand as he and Shannon walked side by side into theater.

"Yeah…sorry about that" Shannon blushed, pointing towards the hand that he had practically mangled without knowing it while on the red carpet.

"No worries…" Tomo smiled, his smile widening even more at who he saw standing behind him. "Mattie…" He cried out, running over towards his wayward friend as he flew into his arms. "Jesus Christ man it's good to see you"

"You too Tomo" Matt beamed as he hugged his former band mate even closer. "Man…I've missed you"

"Me too…me too" Tomo laughed, reaching his good hand out to Shannon as he pulled him towards them. "It's been a lot of year's guys and what's in the past is in the past. We made a pact that we were brothers and no matter what that pact stays"

"I see that he still never shuts up" Matt grinned widely at Shannon before lunging forward and scooping him into his arms. "I am so happy to see you again man" He cried out, jerking the two of them in circles until Jared grabbed onto his lover to keep them both from falling to the ground.

"You look amazing Mattie" Shannon laughed, leaning against Tomo in order to keep upright, once his feet were placed back on the floor.

"Well life on the road and a good man will do that to you" He smiled sweetly at his lover, wrapping his arms around him before planting a kiss upon the side of his face.

"I'm so happy that you two were able to get back together. I've never known anyone that was able to put up with Jared's shit like you do" Shannon laughed happily, jerking back at the playful swat Jared sent his way.

"What about you?" Matt asked his smile fading as the smiles on all three faces disappeared. "You and Tomo…" He didn't get to finish his question as a hurried looking woman ran up to them.

"Mr. Leto…" Shannon heard one of Randolph's former assistants speak to him as he turned to face her. "This is the itinerary for tonight. They would like you to speak a few words before the movie begins" She handed him a sheet of paper, his heart racing so quickly that he couldn't even focus on it. "After the movie there will be a short press conference and then the after party. Any questions I'll be nearby…just look for me" She called out over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

"What the fuck am I going to say?" Shannon felt him self panicking again, warmth invading his sweaty hand as he turned and found his pillar of support beside him yet again.

"Just speak from the heart" Tomo spoke and for Shannon it seemed to be the best advice that anyone had ever given him in his lifetime.

"This movie was a labor of love in more ways then one" Shannon spoke as he stood before the crowded theater, microphone in hand as he gazed into the smiling eyes of Tomo. In the beginning it started out as a way for me to run from my past…to start anew and in the end it turned out to be the best thing I ever did as I found myself a completely different person then when I started. Randolph was an amazing director and producer…but he was also an amazing person. While filming he took on many roles during this entire production…his toughest being a mentor to a stupid assed drummer who thought that he knew it all and realized after some stumbling and bumbling that he knew nothing. He took me under his wing and taught me things that I will forever be grateful for" Tears formed within his eyes, a lump within his throat as he took a deep breath in order to compose himself before speaking again. "I miss him so much and he will always hold a place deep within my heart…thank you"

Stepping off of the stage Shannon found his support group waiting for him as they wound their love around him, each tearful at Shannon's words and extremely grateful that they were all together once again.

"Shannon looks like he's having fun" Matt slurred drunkenly against Tomo's ear as they watched Shannon dance with his former co-star after the press conference and all the hoop la that went along with it. She looks familiar…who is she?" He asked, unable to ignore the look of jealousy that plastered its way across Tomo's face.

"She's his fucking co-star or were you too busy sucking Jared's face off to notice that" Tomo grumped, finishing his beer off before leaving the table in search of another.

"Be right back" Shannon cried out over the roar of the music after seeing Tomo storming by. "Hey…" He called out, placing his hand upon Tomo's shoulder in order to stop him. "Where's the fire?" He grinned, it faltering at the look of anger he received from Tomo. "You ok?"

"Yeah…" Tomo blushed, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at Shannon. "I'm just tired I guess. I think that I'm going to call it a night. It's late and I think that I am getting too old for this shit" He lied. "Who would have seen that coming? I'm going to go tuck my daughter in and kiss her goodnight and then head off to bed myself. I'll see you tomorrow…maybe?" He smiled a half smile as he watched Shannon's dance partner walk up behind him, placing her hand upon his shoulder with a beautiful smile upon her face.

"Actually I think that I'm going to call it a night as well" He replied, putting his finger up in wait for Tomo before turning to face Brandy. "It's been amazing seeing you again. Don't be such a stranger next time" He grinned, hugging the girl before turning back to Tomo. "We can take the limo back to your place and then I can have it take me back home from there" He didn't wait for Tomo to speak as he took him by the hand and led him out.

"What about Matt and Jared?" Tomo asked once they were settled back in the limo.

"Don't worry I don't think those two even know or care that we are gone" Shannon chuckled tiredly, leaning back against the softness of the interior, eyes closed.

"Tired…" Tomo asked seriously as he sat beside Shannon and took in his tired features.

"Exhausted…but it's a good kind of exhaustion you know?" He asked, finding himself lost in dark eyes full of something he couldn't quite understand. "You ok?" He asked, sitting up as he turned to face his friend, his heart pattering quickly within his chest and yet he didn't know why or maybe he did and he just didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah…just tired too" He lied, wanting to look away from hazel eyes that felt as if they were looking into his very soul. He wondered if Shannon could see what was really there, wondered if tonight would be the night that he got up the nerve to tell him just how much he was still in love with him. "Shannon I…" He began to speak, the ringing of Shannon's cell phone cutting him off flat. ***Fuck*** He thought to himself as he fell back against the seat, closing his eyes in order to hide his frustration. The moment had been lost and as much as it hurt him, at the same time he was also thankful because the fear of possibly losing the man who was his best friend in the entire world was great and he knew that he couldn't deal with that again.

"Thank you Tomo…for everything" Shannon whispered against Tomo's ear as he hugged him quickly, the two of them standing outside of the limo. "You are the only reason that I was able to keep myself together tonight and you have no idea how much that meant to me. Love you man" He smiled, stretching forward and pressing his lips softly against Tomo's for a fraction of a second longer then necessary before turning around and practically dive bombing back into the waiting limo.

"Welcome…" Tomo replied to the retreating car as he touched his lips gently. He didn't know what it meant, or if it meant anything as he brushed his hopes aside once again and headed inside his home.

Several weeks had passed and the kissing incident was never mentioned again. Life went back to normal with Shannon practically spending all of his time with Tomo and his daughter, with an occasional appearance by Jared and Matt whenever they were in town. For Tomo he pretended as if nothing had happened, even starting to date a woman that he had met at the gym, but appearances were deceiving because in truth it was Shannon that he longed to be with instead. Shannon was having a rougher time of it, hating the fact that Tomo had in fact found someone else when slowly but surely his feelings of friendship had turned to something else. He had hoped that with that simple kiss that he would have been able to convey his changing feelings for his friend, but when Tomo hadn't even acknowledged it had happened he started to give up hope, eventually giving it all up when he began talking about a woman he had met and struck up a conversation with.

"Wow…you look amazing" Shannon whistled as he sat in the living room watching as Tomo entered the room ready for another date with the dreaded women.

"Thanks…"Tomo blushed. "You sure you don't mind watching Renee again tonight?" He asked, trying to remain composed when Shannon got up off of the couch and walked over towards him.

"Not at all…got nothing better to do anyways" He replied with as much of a smile as he could. "You shaved" He ran his finger tips slowly down Tomo's cheek, not knowing why he was doing it but unable to stop himself just the same. "You look so handsome with your face all smooth" He whispered, his mouth gone dry as brown eyes swimming with confusion locked with his. "I always liked you like this"

"Shannon…" Tomo swallowed hard, not wanting to break the moment but needing to know what was going on.

"Tomo I…" He tried to speak, watching as Tomo licked his lips nervously, his brain and heart falling into overdrive as he let them take control. Urges of love and want converged on him as he laid his hands upon the sides of Tomo's face, leaning upwards as he kissed the man he'd been dying to kiss quickly. Pulling back he watched a wide range of emotions flicker across Tomo's face before he felt strong arms wrap around his neck, urging him even closer. He didn't hesitate as he wrapped his arms around Tomo's slender waist, kissing the man hungrily that time, pouring into that kiss every single emotion he could find. Seconds, minutes, hours passed as the two former lovers continued to make out like love starved teeny boppers. Somehow they had made it to the couch, lips swollen and sore, and yet their need for more pushed them onward. Tomo wasn't sure but somehow he had lost his shirt, making haste as he planned to shed Shannon's of his as well. "Tomo…" Shannon moaned as heated hands ran their way up his back, sending goose bumps flying across the expanse as he begged for more. "God Tomo…" He sighed, pulling back slightly as the man below him attempted to remove his shirt, the shirt becoming tangled around his arms as he hit the floor at a voice behind them.

"What are you and Uncle Shannon doing daddy?" Renee asked, laughing as she watched her Uncle Shannon fall on the floor, struggling to put his shirt back on. "Silly Uncle" She giggled some more as she ran towards him.

"What are you doing up young lady?" Tomo asked his daughter with as much composer as he could muster, trying to get control of his wayward body as he hid his lower portions behind a throw pillow.

"I got scared daddy" His daughter pouted as she pointed towards the large picture glass window, a lightening show playing out before them.

"She's afraid of thunder" Tomo spoke to Shannon when his daughter threw herself into Shannon's arms, noticing for the first time the raging thunderstorm going on outside. "I'll take her back to bed and…" He didn't know how to finish that sentence as he locked eyes with the man that he wanted in the worst way possible.

"I'll take her" Shannon smiled, kissing the already sleepy girl upon the side of her head before pulling himself up. "You go get ready for bed and I'll join you in a few minutes?" It was more of a question then a statement but at the brilliant smile he received from Tomo he already knew the answer.

"Night baby…" Tomo whispered against his daughter's ear before kissing her soft cheek. He couldn't help but chuckle at the inaudible murmurs he received in reply as she snuggled into the chest of the man that he found him self head over heels in love with still after so many years. "I'll be waiting" He spoke softly, a hint of a blush tinting his face as he smiled at his hopeful lover.

Shannon couldn't do anything but smile in return as he walked away from Tomo, climbing the stairs carefully as he made his way towards Renee's room. "Night angel" He whispered as he laid her under the covers, tucking her in snuggly before kissing her gently upon the forehead "I love you" He spoke the words for the first time because it was in that moment in time that he realized just how much the little tyke had wormed her way into his heart. A near hushed intake of breath caused him to turn away from the sleeping beauty as he found Tomo leaning against the doorway with tears in his eyes. Looking back at her one last time he got up off of the bed and walked towards the man he intended to declare his love to that night as well. Taking his hand, they slowly walked into the bedroom, Shannon kissing Tomo with all the love he held within his very soul before the door was even closed.

"Sha…Shannon" Tomo moaned, his body pinned to the wall, his shirt history as Shannon explored his neck and shoulders with his mouth, manly hand exploring his chest and stomach. "Should we be doing this?" Eyes rolled back into his head when a trail of hot kisses across his chest led to wetted warmness across a jutted nipple.

"Do you want me to stop?" Shannon grinned around the reddened bud, drawing his tongue across it every so slowly.

"This…this could change everything. Is this what we want?" He panted, head falling back as Shannon continued his exploits, only to be left cold a moment later as he opened his eyes and found Shannon standing before him with a strange look upon his face. "Shannon?" Tomo spoke his name questioningly, watching as he walked away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he looked up at him.

"My feelings for you changed quite a while ago" He began, leaning on his knees for support before speaking again. "I didn't think it was possible to fall in love with you again so quickly after Randolph died…but it happened and hell maybe I never stopping loving you. Randolph knew that…the more that I think about it the more I believe it. I love you Tomo…it's a plain and simple fact that I can't deny to you or myself anymore. I know this could change everything and maybe I am just hoping for more then I deserve…but I hope that you love me too"

Tears sprang to Tomo's eyes at the open and bare man sitting before him. "I do…I do love you" He cried out words he knew he should have spoken to the one that meant everything to him years ago as he rushed forward and fell to his knees in front of Shannon. "I love you so much Shannon. I always have and it's never changed. I was just so afraid to pursue it after I got you back in my life because the idea of losing you once again scared the shit out of me"

"I've never heard you say that before" Shannon smiled, tears within his own eyes as he reached out and cupped Tomo's face tenderly within his hands. "It's nice. Say it again" He smiled, pressing his forehead to Tomo's as they gazed deeply into each other's eyes.

"I love you"

"Again…"

"I love you Shannon" It was all Shannon needed to hear.

No other words were spoken as Shannon stood up, taking his soon to be lover with him. Eyes continued to stay locked as each piece of clothing was removed, reveling glowing and heated skin that each began to feast on immediately. Lying Tomo across the bed, he covered the beautiful manly body with his own, capturing lips he would never tire of tasting in a passionate kiss that spoke volumes to the love he felt for the man. For the time being they were just content to kiss, hands exploring as bodies shifted to gain more pleasure. Tomo had forgotten how much he used to crave Shannon's naked body pressed against his own, chuckling to himself when he recalled after many heated love making sessions where he would practically force Shannon to lie on top of him until he fell asleep. "What's so funny?" Shannon smiled down at his lover, forcing Tomo to blush that he had been caught day dreaming.

"I was just remembering how much I loved this body" He grinned evilly as he turned the tables on the older man, pinning him with the bulk of his body to the bed. "I was remembering how we used to fuck like bunnies wherever and whenever the opportunity presented itself"

"I remember…" Shannon smiled back. "Jesus…I couldn't ever get enough of you. I still can't" He blushed, ducking his head as he began to nip playfully at Tomo's exposed throat.

"This is for real isn't it?" Tomo asked, sitting up partway as he locked onto hazel orbs that seemed to be literally glowing. "This isn't just some fucked up dream and I'm going to wake up to an empty bed all wet and sticky and frustrated as hell is it?"

"Well I can't guarantee that you won't wake up all wet and sticky…but I can promise you that it won't be to an empty bed and you will be so fucking sated that you won't even remember what being frustrated feels like"

"I like the sound of that" Tomo exclaimed, shrieking with glee when Shannon began to tickle him unmercifully before falling into the serious business of fucking Tomo into a near coma once playtime was over. Afterwards Tomo found him self almost unable to move as his sweaty body began to cool from the glorious round of love making shared between the two of them. "Don't leave…please" He begged softly as Shannon tried to pull away, a small smile of understand crossing his face as he situated himself upon Tomo's beautiful body, his head lying upon his rapidly rising and falling chest

"This ok?" He asked, sleepily and happier then he had felt in a long time.

"Perfect…" Tomo sighed, wrapping his arms around Shannon's broad shoulders hugging him even tighter against him. "I love you Shannon" He whispered, his arms slipping some as sleep began to invade him.

"I love you too" Shannon responded in turn, snuggling in even deeper before slumber took him away as well.

The End…


End file.
